The first spanking experience

What to consider when spanking for the first time? You can find a short introduction to the first time on this page.


The key to a fulfilling and safe spanking is a functioning communication between the partners. In addition, both partners should agree on basic rules for the spanking adventure. Especially with inexperienced partners, it is advisable not to rush things and to take everything slowly. For mutual safety and also to prevent mood-killing misunderstandings from arising in the first place, a safeword (safety word) should always be agreed upon. The safeword should be a term that is rarely or never used in normal speech. The chosen word should also be easy to remember. The great advantage of using a safeword is that it clearly defines the boundaries of the role-play. If the safeword is mentioned, the game is immediately interrupted. If, on the other hand, it is not mentioned, the game is still in the realm of fun for both partners, whereby begging and pleading by the partner - no matter how convincingly it is played - does not have to be responded to and no misunderstandings arise as to whether or not an interruption of the game is actually being requested. A "No, please, stop...stop." can thus be confidently reinterpreted as a "Yes, I want more." This practical rule thus helps the active partner to assess how far he is allowed to go and gives him the certainty that he is not exceeding the limits of what he has been asked to do. The use of a safeword also shows that a sense of responsibility and trust is the be-all and end-all of any spanking experience. Common sense also prohibits spanking the spanked person blindly and without thinking, but always carefully observe their body reactions: Does my partner feel well? Can he take more than he actually wants? On the other hand, the active partner has to be able to rely on the clamped person to articulate when things get too intense for him. The spanked person, in turn, must have confidence that the spanker will respect the limits set and practice sensible, safe paddle handling. Both partners should therefore have a minimum of empathy and communication skills.

Once these basic rules have been clarified, you can actually get started. In order to fully engage in the spanking adventure, however, all possible sources of interference from the outside should be turned off beforehand. This also includes switching the smartphone to mute. As with sports, all jewelry (rings, watches, chains) should be taken off before spanking - the risk of injury is simply too high. Last but not least, gather all the spanking instruments you want to use: Whether the wooden ruler from the kitchen drawer or the professional BDSM wooden paddle. Of course, you can also use the flat hand (especially in the beginning). In the long run, however, this is not nearly as much fun as a scary wooden paddle, cute plush handcuffs or blindfolds.

Which parts of the body are suitable for spanking?

Basically, all body parts where there is a lot of fatty tissue or large muscles are suitable. By far the most popular body part that combines both characteristics is the buttocks: the pomus muscle (Musculus gluteus maximus) is the strongest muscle of the human body, moreover, there is a pronounced layer of fat in the buttocks area, which optimally qualifies this place for spanking. Therefore, with proper exercise, no physical damage occurs and yet an intense feeling of pain can be inflicted. Occasionally, the back of the thighs can also be involved with a lighter intensity. During spanking the muscles should not be tensed and left loose. On the other hand, it is essential to avoid hitting areas of the body where bones, joints, tendons or larger vessels are located immediately below the surface of the skin. In the vicinity of the buttocks, therefore, the areas near the kidneys, the hip bones and on the rump should be spared immediately from blows, otherwise there is a risk of serious physical damage. A thong can serve as a rule of thumb: All areas below the thong up to the attachments of the thighs are generally suitable.

Spanking map with body parts for spanking
Figure 1: Spanking map

Particular care should be taken with heavy paddle, because the intensity of the blow can penetrate deep into the tissue. By the way, the area on the buttocks is so popular not only because of the muscle and fat tissue. Another reason is that a large number of central nerve pathways run in this area, which also lead to the male or female sex organs. Stimulation of the buttock area is thus also accompanied by stimulation of the sexual organs. The two central motives for erotic spanking are on the one hand the role play between dominant and submissive partner and on the other hand the spanking feeling as such. For different people, both aspects are important in different ways: For some, spanking is only a playful way of role-playing, for others, the physical feeling of pain during spanking is in the foreground.

What to look for when hitting?

Basically, it is advisable to gradually increase the intensity of the game, starting with gentle pats (with the flat of the hand) to clearly noticeable strokes with the paddle. The starting phase at the beginning serves to warm up and prepare the skin (warm up). Accordingly, the spanking process follows the guiding principle: start slowly, build up, finish intensively. Before trying out a new spanking instrument on a partner, the spanker should first get an impression of the spanking effect through test strokes, so that he can correctly assess the dosage for later use. In the case of very intensive spanking with a wooden paddle, it can happen that the slapping noise is also heard by neighbors. To soften the slapping noise, the buttocks can be covered with cloth, but this results in a reduction of the pain effect. When spanking with the hand, a less loud noise is produced when the palm of the hand hits the buttocks slightly open. A closed palm curved inward increases the spanking volume. However, the main influence on the loudness is the intensity of the blow: in order to achieve the same intensity of pain at a reduced speed of the blow, the frequency at which the blows are delivered can be increased. How and where to begin the spanking adventure is up to the imagination of each individual: The couch serves its purpose as well as the bed or the kitchen table. At the beginning of spanking, both partners should assume a comfortable sitting or lying position. For beginners, the over-the-knee position is particularly suitable. This can be done on a bed or couch, so that the head of the spanked person is supported a little. In general, pillows are a good way to increase the comfort level of the person being stretched to a minimum. Alternatively, the harnessed person can lean over a chair. Remember to change the position from time to time. Different locations stimulate the imagination and prevent monotony. For beginners, a slow, gentle, playful start is suitable to get used to the pats. Before using a paddle, the flat hand can be used first as a dry exercise. The warm-up allows both partners to slowly get used to the atmosphere and, as with athletic activity, it also allows the muscles to warm up. A relaxed atmosphere relaxes the body. Relaxed buttocks also promote pleasure during the spanking experience. If the buttocks are pink, it's time to bring out the big guns. The wooden paddle turns the soft pink into a dark red more or less quickly, depending on the frequency and hardness of the stroke. For experienced users, a fiery red can follow. In addition to simple hitting, one-handed squeezing, pulling or pinching does not fail to have an effect, especially if the buttocks are already in an advanced state of processing. The rhythm of beating should not be based on a boring waltz. Creativity is also required here: whether strokes with announcement or without; whether quick sequences or small pauses in between; the following applies to everything: observe your partner. What does he like, what doesn't he like? What is his reaction? Does he get involved and is relaxed or rather tense?

After spanking experience

When the exciting game comes to an end, it is time to slowly wind down. As with the warm-up, don't just throw away the familiar atmosphere and move on to the daily routine. Discuss how you found it. What did your partner like? What could be done better? It doesn't need to be an in-depth analysis, sometimes a kiss and a little hugging is enough. The amount of time spent coming down depends on the couple individually and also on their level of experience. However, especially as a beginner, it is okay to discuss in detail how you found it. This helps in future spanking adventures to better consider the preferences of the other and to be able to assess body reactions more confidently. Außerdem fördert es das gegenseitige Vertrauen, welches beim Spanking - wie bereits angesprochen - ein zentrales Element darstellt.

Bring momentum to your love life through spanking
Figure 1: Bring momentum to your love life
Find high-quality spanking paddle in our shop!

This might also interest you

Order paddle online

In our online store you receive exclusive discounts - drop in!